We've been somewhat stranded of late... for a good reason, though.. Henry finally got hired, but that means he has better things to do than play chauffeur for Sheryl and me. So, i've been at home, walking around within certain safe boundaries and trying to feel useful.
Yesterdy, i got to go with Edgar and Jennifer and Sophia (as i found out today, it's PH, not F) to see the new houses that they and Omar are moving into in a couple of weeks... These houses take cookie-cutter to a new level; they're literally all identical, except for the color.. but they're really nice little houses. Omar and Edgar are going to be neighbors (i told them i'd move in on the other side) in a new neighborhood on the outskirts of Monterrey. I was joking with Edgar, but i actually wouldnt mind living in one of those casitas.. It was the first time that the thought of actually being in Monterrey for something resembling an extended period of time seemed plausible. It faded quickly, but it was a strange feeling. I'll come back to that.
Yesterday, Javier gave his first teaching in Homegroup. Javier is a great guy; cool story. Mark and Macie actually met him in 2010 at the Tec and he told them he was an atheist and wasn't interested in church... now he's (almost) a homegroup apprentice. He taught about evangelism and how we can show love to people by sharing the way to life with them. Part of the teaching was showing everyone in the group how to make an origami flower, so afterwards, everyone was playing with paper. Loyda made a fortune teller paper thingy and it told me i'm going to die in Mexico (fortunately, i don't believe in that).
For the past 4 years or so, i've had hanging over my head the obnoxious question of "what am i supposed to do with my life?" I've also been very carefully postponing thinking of an answer. I figured i'd have the whole summer before my senior year at LT to think about it.. then at LT i figured i'd have my whole senior year, then during that year, i figured i'd go to Mexico that summer and i'd know if missions was supposed to be part of it... now i have 3 weeks left in Mexico and i've found that i'm thinking i'll figure it out next year while i'm working in College Station... (and part of me wants to do a peace corps stint after that to have more time)
So my thoughts have been all over the place. I've thought about missions work, ministry, teaching, military, police, marketing and all sorts of other junk that didn't make it on this list. I know i want to glorify God with my life; that's the only thing that matters, but i know he can use me in any arena to do that. (i've also thought that if i died in Mexico like the devil-paper said, it'd solve a lot of my problems (that's a joke, calm down)). I was hoping that my time here would help me see more clearly whether the whole missions thing was really my passion. It really hasn't. I always figured if i went missions, i'd go somewhere like Guatemala or Monterrey, but this trip, while mind-blowingly amazing, hasn't answered that question. I wonder if this is God saying "just trust me and keep going" because i'm not ready to accept or understand what he has for me or if it's God saying "just make a choice and i'll bless you." He does both.. who knows
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