Psalm 42 is the oft-quoted "as the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God." Desiring God is something i've often struggled with; shoud we seek God becuse we want to or because he is God? Should those be two seperate questions? Anyway, for the past year or so, i've been in something of a drought in terms of feeling close to God. For a while i kept seeking Him because i was supposed to, then i stopped for a while because i felt like it was just not helpful. I'm back on track, or at least headed back that way; but i wonder how much longer it will be until it rains. Part of me wonders if i'll be able to handle it when God does reconnect with me, part of me hopes i can't...
I've been reading the book of Job (i just recently finished), which is rhetorically fascinating and theologically confusing... but in a good way. Job says some pretty gutsy things about God and his friends say some things that make a lot of sense, but God condemns the words of his friends and supports Job. It's been really encouraging though.
Anyway, all of this got restarted in my head because i have been SO THIRSTY the past few days. Friday we set up a slackline on the Uni campus (FPF kiddos) to meet people and hang out with the ones we knew. The result was a lot of new friends and being super tired after being in the sun all day... then Saturday we went to Chipinque (chi-what?)... I thought it was a park... it was actually a mountain. We drove halfway up, hiked the other half, then on the way down; Jessica, Megan, Edgar, Cyntia, myself and a few others got "lost" (on a path) and ended up hiking the whole way down. It would have been fine....if we had water, ha. Jessica fell and scraped her knees pretty badly about 2K from the bottom. We met a baby bear, who ran away from us (but we got a photo), got sunburned and discussed theology*. It was excellent. All that said, i have not been that thirsty in a looooong time. It was crazy. All i could think about was water.
That's what got me thinking. Why don't we want God that way? Why isn't he all i can think about when i'm not with him? I claim to love him more than life and i claim that he is my everything, but do i truly crave him like i pant for water? That's what makes me think that he never really left me. People who don't have God crave him, seek him..they just don't know what they need. A desire that can't be quenched because they don't know it's thirst. But i have his Spirit sealed in me and don't truly know what thirst is. Anyway, Mexico rocks and you should come.
*Apparently not all (and by not all i mean almost everyone but fellowship) Great Commission churches believe in the continued working of the Holy Spirit with regards to things like gifts of healing and tongues (in a non-human-language sense). This has led to some interesting discussions when i tell the story about that time i got healed (ask me sometime, it's cool).
it's funny because "sed" means thirst in spanish
This one is one of the most intriguing blogs you've written yet! I'll put your questions in the category named rhetorical but it's so cool to hear about your life discoveries in Mexico and how god is really working in you. I wish I couldve been there for fpf in Mexico. Fpf goes global! Who knew? Can't wait for you guys to get back and tell all your stories! >jess
ReplyDeletesometimes the raindrops are falling but are hard to notice because they come so far apart but then one hits your nose and makes you look up to the sky. Before you know it the rain begins to fall and refreshes you :) That is what came to mind when I read your blog.
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